I would define an intention, as an objective we set to ourselves to accomplish something. It is the path to follow to achieve our goals.

Sometimes, we forget our intentions. We truly want something but we are caught in the moment and our emotions get the better of us. So instead of focusing on what we want, we are focusing on what is happening in the moment. “What is the other person going to think about me? Why would I let him do that? He is no better than I am”. And we feel this rush of emotion coming out of nowhere taking the lead. The thing is, our body is playing with us. When we get mad, our adrenal glands send adrenaline to our bloodstream and it doesn’t help with calming down and focus. Our body is on a fight or flight mode, it is set up to fight and the only objective is winning the argument whatever the consequences.

When making life more wonderful becomes a very distant idea, let’s try and remind ourselves, what was our intention in the first place?

I was going to a store a few months ago, because they promised me my camera would be repaired within 20 days. 35 days had passed and I still had no news from them. I felt very exasperated as I needed my camera to go on a trip the week after. I remember being in my car, imagining the scene and feeling the anger rising to the point I would scream at the repairman. I was thinking “how can they be so careless and forget about me? They didn’t even send a message to let me know it was going to take more time. People have no respect! They should…” I paused for a moment as my heart was pounding in my chest, just imagining the scene. I thought “what are you doing? You’re hurting yourself just by imagining what could happen. Are you more likely to get your needs met, thinking what is wrong with them or trying to find out what really happened?”

To calm myself down, I tried to find what my intention was, and what needs of mine were unmet. My intention was to get my camera back and screaming on someone would not do any good to the situation. And I had a need for trust and understanding.

As I walked into the shop, I was at peace, I did not scream on the repairman and I found out that there was a problem with my phone number so they could not contact me.

If our body is sometimes tricking us into thinking there is something wrong with others, we need to remind ourselves that the others are only a stimulus, they don’t make us feel anything, we are the only one responsible for our emotions. But this is the subject of another article. It can take time to find out what needs of ours want to be met, especially in an emotional situation. So starting by reminding our intention, is an easier way to remind ourselves what we really want.